The Mistress Files

1. Initial Interview

Dramatically Dapper Season 1 Episode 1

Suspect has been in custody for several hours, with no progress made on obtaining information as to the location of the Horsemen or the objective of APEP. Agent Embar has been tasked with continuing the interrogation.
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Episode Performed By: Kayla Valderas as The Mistress, Conner Goff as Agent Embar, Matthew Fike as Agent Williams, and Mars West as Prime Director Felton. - 
Written by Alexander Liddel. - 
Produced, Directed, Edited, and Sound Design by Kathryn Stanley.

SFX Note  0:00

[The clock ticks steadily as Scene 1 begins. Neither Agent Williams or The Mistress are speaking. The Mistress is slowly and steadily tapping her nails on the metal table, unaffected by the Agent across her. Pages in a file are occasionally flipped. This continues for a total of 10 seconds.]

 

Agent Williams  0:10

[There is a bang as he slams his hand on the table.]

(snarled) Start talking, you sociopathic bitch! Tell us where Mr. Six is located, or I swear to God we will put you in a hole so deep-

 

SFX Note  0:18

[As he is speaking, the door beeps and swings open. Agent Embar enters the room, letting the door shut behind him as he interrupts Agent Williams and sits down in the other chair across from The Mistress.]

 

Agent Embar  0:20

(calmly) Evening, Williams. You seem overworked; thought you might want to get a cup of coffee.

 

Agent Williams  0:26

But, sir-

 

Agent Embar  0:27

You may need it, due to all the work you’re going to be doing. Someone needs to double check all the surveillance reports from the past decade for typos, extra spacing, and lost pages; seeing as you’re so fired up and all, I thought you’d be happy to volunteer.

 

Agent Williams  0:44

Y-yes, sir.

[Agent Williams stands and leaves. The door shuts behind him.]

 

Agent Embar  0:54

(sighs and leans forward) I am terribly sorry about that. We here at the Overworld Authority for Security, Intelligence, and Safety don’t usually condone such behavior from our agents, but unfortunately, you warrant that reaction in people.

 

The Mistress  1:09

Oh, you flatter me. 

 

Agent Embar  1:11

[He opens the file on the table.]

So, how have you been Mistress? Or can I call you... (clears his throat) Vivian Morrow? That’s such a nice name, I think. Would it be okay if I called you that?

 

The Mistress  1:24

Oh, Agent Embar, I think we’ve known each other long enough to answer that question. You can call me ‘The Mistress’ just like the rest of the world.

 

Agent Embar  1:36

Hm. Yeah, but you see... that just doesn’t sound particularly nice. Vivian is a much nicer name. It can even be shortened to Vivi.

 

The Mistress  1:46

[Leans forward slightly.]

(sweetly) ... Call me that again... and I’ll tear your throat out.

 

Agent Embar  1:52

(immediately) Duly noted. I guess I’ll just stick to Mistress then. That seems like a safe place to start. I must be honest with you, Mistress. When I heard that we had you in custody, I was rather gobsmacked. The great and powerful leader of the world’s most prominent evil organisation, sitting here like a common criminal? I thought there had to be a catch. You, who had put the fear into the world, achieved where most had failed, all at the age of twenty-three. Something here seems fishy.

 

The Mistress  2:25

(soft noise) I thought I’d give you an early Christmas gift, and come in peacefully.

 

Agent Embar  2:30

[Flips a page, scans the file as he speaks.]

From what I’ve been told, you were apprehended outside of Marrakesh, your personnel nowhere to be seen, your vehicle totaled, and (clears throat) several OASIS agents beaten and bruised.

 

The Mistress  2:44

Beaten, not dead. That’s quite peaceful considering what I plan to do to that asshole, Alabaster. He set me up in Morocco, and I vow he will pay.

 

Agent Embar  2:59

Alabaster Kabbal will be dealt with in due time, but considering we have all this time together, why don’t you and I have a little chat?

 

The Mistress  3:08

[Leans back in her chair.]

...

 

Agent Embar  3:10

Come now, don’t pout like that. It’s just a talk.

 

The Mistress  3:14

(after a beat) … Did you bring what I asked for?

 

Agent Embar  3:17

Dangerous criminals, like yourself, are not allowed to have any items, personal or not. OASIS is not here to pander to supervillains.

 

The Mistress  3:27

(scoffs petulantly) Tch. Whatever...

SFX Note  3:30

[There is a pause, then his chair creaks and a toy rattles.]

 

Agent Embar  3:30

Though... I was able to sneak it out of holding. I’m not really sure what you could possibly do with an old stuffed lamb doll. 

 

The Mistress  3:39

Ramses!

 

SFX Note  3:39

[Her cuffs rattle as she reaches for the doll, but Agent Embar holds it out of her reach.]

 

Agent Embar  3:40

Ah, ah. Wait. If I return this to you, I want information; Mr. Six, the Horsemen, your entire organisation. Do we have a deal?

 

The Mistress  3:53

 (a pause) ... Fine. Now give me back Ramses!

 

SFX Note  3:56

[Her cuffs rattle more as the doll is passed to her. She hugs the rattling toy to her chest fiercely, and a soft Baaa… is heard from the lamb doll as it is squeezed.]

 

Agent Embar  4:00

(a single, slight heh) It’s cute, you know? Most people only know you as this big bad evil, but... knowing there is a softer side to you that can hug a toy like it’s the end of the world... it’s nice. 

 

The Mistress  4:13

I could kill you still. 

 

Agent Embar  4:16

Again, duly noted.

 [File page flip.] 

So, the last time we spoke was six months ago, in Algeria. My bosses didn’t appreciate that I spent most of my time dueling wits with snarky quips, only to lose you in that explosion in the end.

 

The Mistress  4:30

(chuckles) It was quite the excursion, and I really did appreciate the parting gifts.

 

Agent Embar  4:36

Yeah, well, the Algerian government would really like their four tons of Uranium-238 back. Who knows what could happen to it if it fell into the wrong hands?

 

The Mistress  4:47

(laughs fully, leaning forwards) Oh, I can tell you exactly what can happen-

 

SFX Note  4:51

[There are three sharp raps behind the one-way mirror in the room. The Mistress glances over at her reflection with disinterest.]

 

Agent Embar  4:53

(clears throat) We’re getting off topic here.

 

SFX Note  4:56

[There is a pause, then the chair creaks as she leans forward again.]

 

The Mistress  4:58

(in a low voice) You want information from me?

 

Agent Embar  5:02

[Leans forward as well.]

(whispered) That’s the deal. Preferably about Mr. Six, considering that no one has any information on him. But I won’t turn down any other secrets you have.

 

The Mistress  5:12

Ooo, Agent Embar, you’re so naughty. Asking a young lady for her secrets? I didn’t know you had such a side.

 

Agent Embar  5:22

[Leans back, startled.]

(clears throat) Wuh-, Well, I meant-

 

The Mistress  5:24

[Sitting straight once more.]

(slightly louder) I want them all gone. The men behind the glass, the cameras, and the hidden microphones in corners one, two, and... four.

 

Agent Embar  5:37

(incredulously) You cannot be serious, Mistress. You’re a well known supervillain, I would think you could negotiate better than this-

 

The Mistress  5:43

(interrupting him) Let me finish. Send them away, turn it all off, until it’s just you, me, and a tape recorder… (softly) I’ll give you what you want. By the end of today, I promise you will know the true identity of Mr. Six.

 

Agent Embar  6:07

(sighs under his breath) It may take some convincing to turn my bosses to this idea.

 

The Mistress  6:13

This offer is only open for a limited time. You have until I count to... 900. That should give you roughly... 15 minutes? Give or take a few seconds.

 

Agent Embar  6:27

(stuttering) I’m not sure I can-

 

The Mistress  6:28

(slowly, clearly) 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...

 

Agent Embar  6:32

[Over the counting.]

(sigh) Fine, I’ll be back.

 

SFX Note  6:36

[The door beeps and Agent Embar exits the room into a large hallway. The counting is silenced as the door shuts. A door down the hall opens, and furious footsteps echo up the hall towards him as the Prime Director storms over.]

 

Prime Director Felton  6:43

(fiercely) You can’t be seriously asking for this!

 

Agent Embar  6:45

Sir, I know that it seems unreasonable, but-

 

Prime Director Felton  6:49

(interrupting) Unreasonable?! This child has destroyed seventeen different cities within the span of a week! She has stolen countless priceless artefacts, irreplaceable items that we will never see again!

 

Agent Embar  7:00

I understand that, Prime Director. Please just hear me out on this.

 

Prime Director Felton  7:04

You want me to listen to you?! Do you understand hierarchy at all?

 

Agent Embar  7:12

Please, sir. All I ask is for one minute of your time.

 

Prime Director Felton  7:20

(deep breath, then a forced exhale) Speak.

 

Agent Embar  7:23

I know what I ask for is ridiculous, but in all the time I have chased her down, she has never broken a promise.

 

Prime Director Felton  7:30

Of course she-

 

Agent Embar  7:30

(interrupting) Of course she hasn’t, yes I know. It doesn’t sound at all plausible. But it’s true sir. In January of last year, when we caught up to them on the stolen American warship, she promised no one on board would be harmed, that they only needed the schematics kept on board.

 

Prime Director Felton  7:45

And if I recall, there was no one on that ship. She left them all in Hawaii before stealing the ship.

 

Agent Embar  7:52

(slight pause) No sailors were on that ship, but there was a young lady from the islands that snuck aboard. She apparently wanted to go on an adventure.

 

Prime Director Felton  8:01

(voice hardening) Except when you were asked if anything happened on that ship, you said there was nothing. Did you lie in your report, Agent Embar?

 

Agent Embar  8:12

No, sir! But... I did not report fully. There was nothing with that girl, she was too young to understand what had gone down, and I know what would have happened if OASIS had found out about her. She would have been taken from her family, interrogated, disbelieved, and handled in a heavy-handed manner. We would have destroyed her life at a young age, all because she snuck aboard a ship.

 

Prime Director Felton  8:37

(sighs) Please give me one good reason why I am not firing you right here and now.

 

Agent Embar  8:44

I never abandoned my post. The girl stated that “Big Sister” looked after her, that she was able to contact her family immediately, and that she was promised nothing would happen to her. Vivian returned her to her home on her own time as she knew I could not deviate from my mission. When I checked in later, I found her there safe and sound, her parents even compensated for their troubles. (pauses) I apologise, Prime Director.

 

Prime Director Felton  9:10

So we know she likes kids? So what.

 

Agent Embar  9:14

We can learn a lot more if you give me this chance.

 

SFX Note  9:17

[A distinct pause.]

 

Prime Director Felton  9:19

One. Hour. That’s all I’m allowing.

 

Agent Embar  9:23

(relieved) Thank you, sir.

 

SFX Note  9:25

[another door opens as Agent Embar moves to gather equipment.]

 

Prime Director Felton  9:26

Embar. If you come back with nothing less than outstanding information… (pauses) I’ll leave you in that hole with her.

 

Episode Performed By:

Kayla Valderas as The Mistress.

Conner Goff as Agent Embar.

Matthew Fike as Agent Willaims.

Mars West as Prime Director Felton. 

 

Written by Alexander Liddel. 

Produced, Directed, Edited, and Sound Design by Kathryn Stanley.